02 August 2012


I'm dipping my feet in the blogging waters, training wheels and all. It can't be that I've forgotten how to write, words are like breathing, yes? I used to have fun here, I used to not even be able to imagine life without this, my words, all of yours, but then life happened, death happened, and you know how Tom Robbins writes 'This decent into the deepest dark of fuck'? He meant it sexually but if you make it metaphorical that's what this blog became, just another vast place where Uzi wasn't. [Unlikely as it may sound just now this is really not one of those posts.]

I spent most of yesterday watching Tsunami clips. The white mice being funny that way, I suppose I should clarify I mean the 2004 one, my tsunami, as it were, not Japan's. There is a reason behind it, one I can't share yet but will very soon, and it is actually a good one for the most part, maybe even a healthy one in a thoroughly convoluted way. [Part of it, of course, is that I still have hope of catching a glimpse of him somehow, somewhere. Considering how it ends, that would be the unhealthy part. The healthy bit of the unhealthy part is that I have made my peace with the fact that this is how it will be always, ebb and flow, mostly clear with obsessive morbid showers.]

I have stories to tell, I never stopped having stories to tell, the difference is that now, when I say I want to tell them, it's not mostly the intellectual exercise of recognising a void where something used to flourish. Now I really feel them in my gut, these stories, these silky headbuts on the inside of me.

We could describe this unplanned hiatus as my having been literarily dyspnoeic - but I am pink-inflating as we speak. And fuck me if the random double space paragraph formatting thingy that won't go away isn't welcoming me back.

5 furballs:

lorem ipsum said...

Welcome back! <3

Jay said...

Odd that just today I revived my Google reader and there you were with a new post. I was quite glad to see it. I'm starting again too - though, not today. I'll let you know where as soon as I know.

QuietusLeo said...

Welcome back. Maybe you might inapire me to rescucitate my blog.

QuietusLeo said...

inspire of course. these mobile keyboards are tough on the myopically challenged.

Lioness said...

Thanks, Lorem, it does feel like coming home!

Jay, oh my, I'm glad, I'm so glad! Serendipity.

QL, I hope so, I loved your mini-medical dramas, if not the jazz... My ipad has turned me into the queen of typos, very hard on my proto-OCD.