17 January 2009

Thread, the new

Remember I'm going to Budapest in 5 days? It pains me to admit that I trump my own absent-mindednes effortlessly, but yesterday saw this:

Community member: Say, you mentioned the hotel had been booked for you, but you never said anything about the flight.
Me: How do you mean, the flight?
CM: Yes, did you book the flight?
Me: ...Book the flig- OH BUGGER IT, BOLLOCKS, BLOODY BLOODY HELL!

Apparently, one can just walk there. It was very disquieting. What bleeding idiot forgets to book a flight??

Remember how I complained abt the cold? Well, it is still cold, that no central-heating-cold that ensured only the fittest of Porties survived - well, and me, but when I was born we didn't have a neurotic dog and the heater could actually be turned on, so here I am. Alive. Cold. It is so cold that I very often do not even remove my coat, just dive straight under the sofa blanket and this here post is right now being brought to you by fingerless gloves. [Hi! Anyone interested in a free trip to Budapest? I have a brand new e-ticket!] It is so cold that I can't be bothered abt the psoriasis creams bcs really, the last thing I feel like doing when I wake up battered and incapable of straightening up is spending 30 minutes anointing myself with the stupid things, not to mention that the cold means all my work is for naught bcs my skin just doesn't cope with it, at all, and even thought the lesions have diminished (especially in those bits that are always covered) my hands look as aggravated a ever the moment I step out. Or in. [*Clears throat* All right, so this argument is rubbish but it does make my non-compliance sound legitimate, let's all pretend.] Now, why would you wake up battered and incapable of straightening up, you ask? The pills work, my skin is better. They also can cause, amongst a myriad of delights, low back pain of the sort that makes you twist yourself around to check whether you might have somehow acquired a small carnivorous companion now trying to gnaw its way into your kidneys. A bit like deep-sea fishes mating, only with less fusion and more country-style. [This only works if you know what fish I'm talking abt, please say you do, it is sad to laugh alone.] Low back pain as a side effect is more common in teenagers, surprisingly, so I reckon this is the universe saying Hullo, remember how you somehow skipped acne in adolescence? We come bearing retroactive gifts! I still have all my hair though, that's good, yes? But what I've really come to hate is The Scalp Foam. The people who invented it do NOT have psoriasis, I can assure you. I want to lock them in a room and force them to apply it to their actual scalp and not hair or skin. And then I'd cackle when it inevitably burnt said skin, right bfr disappearing into nothing but not bfr it had found its way to their eyebrows or eyelashes or even their chest, bcs it floats, it is alive, pissy and desperate to escape. I've used it twice only and the only good thing I can say abt it is, it goes brilliantly with my new t-shirt: NO MORE HAIRY BOOBS, ASK ME HOW! Eejits.

6 furballs:

Kristin said...

Stay warm (if that is possible) and work on the compliance!

Laughing so hard at the thought of a tshirt that actually says that.

Udge said...

Trying to imagine someone whose fingers were small and numerous enough that they could apply that cream to their scalp without getting it on their hair. Nope, it defeats me. Great t-shirt though.

And the absentmindedness is not so bad, you'd have remembered on the way to the airport, I am sure.

JoeinVegas said...

Oh, somewhere I missed the hairy boob part. Much less the no more of. I am totally lost here. Don't even know what fish you are talking about.
But glad you got your ticket.

jbondsgirl said...

I think we should form a petition against winter. There must be someone somewhere that we can call. You work on getting signatures, I'll start looking for the authorities.

xo
Flicka

greenduckiesgirl said...

I am so with jbondsgirl about no more winter! I am sick of it as well. I will sign the petition!

Laughed over the fish, no idea what you're talking about but didn't want you to be alone. And also laughed about the universe bearing retroactive gifts. Hee.

Nancy said...

You know...hairy boobs might be warmer.

word: rablog meaning? a type of blog about ra?