07 January 2009

And on the left you can see the kashba

I'm going to Budapest in a fortnight to do Important Jewish Stuff. The fact that I'll actually be in Hungary during an European cold wave the likes of which I've never seen [we expect -2 ºC tomorrow in Lisbon, MINUS TWO DEGREES!, what the bloody hell.] [That, incidentally, prompted my dad to try and convince me to move in with them, pets and all, for the duration of said cold front, you know, lest I die. Of exposure. In Lisbon. He did not take it well when I had hysterics either.], not to mention I'm chuffed to be on an aeroplane again and this will be the 3rd weekend in a row that I work so I can free that weekend for the trip, which tranlates into my working four whole weeks until I have my first weekend off - and all this so I can become a Jewsicle? Surely I deserve better. And if anyone thinks I'll be wearing a skirt to Shabbat services they're very much mistaken and Old Europe be damned, they'll be lucky if I don't show up in trousers AND wrapped in a woolen blanket.

Anyway, Hungary. My mother happened to go to the bank today and since she was there she asked the teller whether my new VISA has been properly activated [long, sad previous bank story] so I can use it in Hungary if need be. This is what the teller had to say:

I don't know, I've never been to Hungary.

Scout's honour, the BANK EMPLOYEE did say this. Now, I expect the poor twat was abt the size of flea dung by the time my very polite and yet jugular-y mother left, my mother doesn't suffer fools gladly. She rang me right afterwards and I, in turn, spent the rest of the afternoon ringing my friends during breaks to share this exchange with them. The sad truth is, although everyone was shocked and no one could believe it bcs, REALLY??, they actually all could. We may laugh, yes, but we're all crying inside.

I strongly urge Spain to invade us properly this time so I have someone else to blame.

PS - Gosh, could Lil' Lioness be bucking up coldwise?? Even though I'm always cold I have also always loved cold air on my face. I will mot certainly become ill if my lower back and decolétage aren't well protected but wet hair never harms me - and I've just had a revelation! I was walking the dog and loving it, the crispiness of the day, the bright sun, everything the warm body versus the cold in my face - dahlings, I can survive the cold if it's not too extreme and am well bundled up, the thing that kills me is my flat, actually, where the temperature is often colder than outside, the neurotic dog won't allow me to have the heater on, I'm not moving and whatever warmth there was is sucked out by the floor to bottom, drafty windows. I am typing this with my gloves and coat on, for pity's sake. But yesterday, I don't know if it's bcs all I do is sleep when I'm not working, in the evening it was approaching 0ºC and I didn't even feel that cold! So, in keeping with the old Let Life Know What You Want In No Uncertain Terms I have compiled a list of IKEA items that I want, for my new flat [like this with a perfectly white duvet, this in Leaby red, this in white, and this, for starters]. You know, the one I'll soon have, with Southern Exposure. There's a new home somewhere with proper windowsills and wall space and a balcony and loads of light and warmth with my name on it so move over, it's time to start hunting.

11 furballs:

Anonymous said...

Oh dear! I hope your trip goes smoothly at any rate. Have a lovely ceremony! I'm interested to know what you are doing, since I almost converted myself during the college years. (I didn't, but I still have a fond spot for Judaism.)


Udge said...

"Stupid is as stupid does, Mama always said."

Not surprised, just quite amused. I hope you don't freeze solid, neither in Portieland nor Hungary.

Kristin said...

Stay warm Johnny and have a great trip.

Anonymous said...

Oh, I do adore you, Johnny. Come back when I'm not having some kind of psychotic episode and we'll have more fun. (Btw, just had a similar revelation about cold, having managed to say "Hey, it's so warm out today!" when the thermometer returned to nearly 0ºC here in Toronto).


Anonymous said...

Not surprised either. Amused, yes. It happens. Beth used to have a banker who kept referring to beneficiaries as benefixiaries. Made us laugh and cringe at the same time.

QuietusLeo said...

Is it possible that the clerk was joking?
And, Jewsicle, that, I like. I bet you are a yummy 'sicle. ;P

JoeinVegas said...

I used to sit at my computer wrapped in an electric blanket down in San Diego when it got cold. Much better to seal the windows and turn the heat up. (dog be damned)

Dexter Colt said...

When I was visiting my parents it was -12ºC one day. If not for the electric blanket I might not have survived. That's why I don't live there anymore. People like us should consider tropical climates.

Nancy said...

Have a wonderful, safe, and a soul warming trip Lioness

ps "I don't know, I've never been to Hungary"...bwahahahahah

brooksba said...

I'm bound to get a boot to the head for this, but it doesn't sound that bad to be 0 C. I'm just hoping the -40 doesn't come around this year. I guess if you're not used to it, it seems insane. Oh well.

I think 09 is bringing great things to you!

Anonymous said...

The quick and the cold.