31 October 2008

Bad, bad pilgrim

This internship is kicking my Portie arse, nothing describes it better. I am finally doing what I wanted and it is so very worth it but mostly I leave home at 9 and return at 21.00, or later so supper very often is a bag of crisps bcs I cannot be bothered to cook at that time, and I work every other weekend. Also, did you know that you can very easily kill litttle furry and winged things? Any living things, really? The responsibility leaves me almost paralysed at times, and when I am not mentally wringing my hands and praying to every available deity I am studying, bcs there are so many species and they all require so many different things that it's all I can do to keep afloat. Well, near the surface anyway.
I finished the curricular bit of this degree on the 25th of September. I was home, sitting on the same spot I sat studying for so many exams, and the last grade was supposed to only be posted the next day. But I decided to check the intranet anyway, a bit of magical thinking at work, and suddenly there it was, the new grades .pdf, and I opened it, and I'd passed, and just like that, after all these years, I was done. So what do you do? You exuberantly burst into tears, sobby tears of the disbelieving sort, and then you ring everyone you know and sob the news to them. The next day I went to the clinic to sort out last minute details with my tutor re the internship that was going to start on October 1st and he said goodbye with the words See you Monday and this is how I actually ended up starting it on Rosh Hashanah and it cut my holiday time in half but, really, how fitting was that? It couldn't have been any more symbolic.

I thought I'd start my internship and have loads of stories to tell. I actually do have loads of stories to tell but of the sort that would make everyone who's not a vet's eyes glaze over. Would it really thrill anyone as much as me to hear abt my sugar glider, my first marsupial ever, or the fact that I have finally seen raccoons? [Rotten pets they make, btw] I also don't particularly want to tell them, bcs all my resources are going into reading abt the animals and staying awake long enough to do chores that need to be done. I'm not reading blogs, I barely keep up with my email and I actually don't feel like reading books, my beloved regular books, either. I am turning into pod people, people.

I am feeling a tad pissy abt it actually, I blogged compulsively for so many years and now that that stupid degree is finally done I am nearly comatose. I try to console myself thinking abt Carter, from ER, Carter would probably not have been blogging while running on little mental petrol but I'm not Carter and I resent this lack of words. I have day dreams of a beach with no tourists, loads of heat and a pile of books by the warm sea so I could recharge batteries but instead I am going to be fattened up and dragged to the snow. On Sunday I leave for San Francisco to see V. and a week after that I'll fly to Vancouver to be with Manuela. I should be far more excited than I am but 1) I still don't quite believe it's going to happen, the trip has been booked for ages but I still think it's too much, me, going to see their homes and families and pets, keep waiting for hubris to raise its little head and 2) last time I flew across the ocean I lost Uzi. Also, last time I flew I flew to his funeral and really - ach, I dislike flying and the dreams have started, I dreamt in perfect Hebrew, so perfect, in fact, my subconscious being far cleverer than me, that I knew someone had died from what I was being told but the Hebrew was too complex for me to understand who but luckily Uzi's younger brother was there and he took the phone from me and eh, not much, these 2 girls I barely know so I just shrugged. Not Uzi, not friends, well yeah, shit happens, sorry.

Also, Uzi will have been dead for four years this December, and this is something I absolutely cannot comprehend. For the first time ever I didn 't blog on his birthday. What else can I say really? Wish you were here, alive? Wish I could hug you, kiss you, make you whole? TI do, and yet there are only so many times I can repeat myself, but it feels like I am letting him down. Five years already, God.

Anyway, V. has promised to take me to a Mexican joint right away, I need to store thigh fat for the Winter, obviously, and she is determined to make me not fit in my clothes and Manuela has, for some reason, decided that we need to drive North so I can see snow - so I can see snow, bcs anyone who knows me even a bit knows that THERE'S NOTHING I TREASURE MORE THAN COLD AND SNOW, YES PLEASE, she may have lost the plot a bit but there was mention of snowball fights, which I never had, and that might just sway me but I'd still much prefer to go patrol the woods looking for bear dung.

This time, I am travelling light, I learnt my lesson. I bet I can beat my previous 115 books record - for one day I'll want to read again, right?

PS - I castrated a cat on my own. Tutor supervised and took over far too early, alas, but I think I am entitled to say I castrated a cat! Me!

11 furballs:

JoeinVegas said...

Doctor Lioness!!!!!

Congratulations. Please don't melt, you can make it through internship too. I'd let you look at my dogs.

Anonymous said...

oh Lioness, good to hear from you again. i'm going to Canada in december (Toronto). you know, the climate being what it is there might actually be a shortage of snow. that bear poop is looking like a fair possibility.
btw, every time you tell us about your internship i keep hearing someone's voice in my head saying "Doctor Harriot! My sheep are depressed! What can I do?"
Did they have sheep in Yorkshire? Can't remember.
anyway, mazel tov on the castration!

Anonymous said...

ONE MORE DAY WOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOO!!!! in 48 hours you'll be here, knock on wood!

Hopefully I"ll be off the crutches by then. I'm trying my best. Maybe I'll tank up on the (duly prescribed) pain meds and be flying high and hence crutch free when you finally come through those big metal doors into the fresh air of CALIFORNIA!!!!!

Mexican food, of course. Also Chinese (the good kind), loads of sushi, more Mexican, and then lots of home cooking. Minou awaits you with baited breath (actually, a bored expression).


M said...

then one day Johnny woke up and discovered she was a vet, WHICH SURPRISED HER.

I've been waiting months to drop that one.

Don't forget to ring me when you're here.

CarpeDM said...

I am so excited you're going to be here even though I wish you were going to be here. Minnesota is a little warmer than Canada, you know. Although we (knock on wood) probably won't have snow.

But you could see Eddy and diagnose where his bald spot came from. Although I'm pretty sure it is Kalli related.

It doesn't seem like it could be 5 years. I will be thinking of you.

Vacant Uterus said...

You sound as happy as a pig in sh*t and I bet you're doing a fantastic job of it, too. You are ten kinds of fantastic, Johnny, and I hope you have a lovely time away on your holiday. :-)

Lioness said...

Joe, am actually more worried abt what comes after the internship, when I'm on my own. Ack! Thanks for the trust.

Oh K., you poor woman. Bundle up! Of course they had sheep in Yorkshire, albeit not depressed ones. Remember how Herriot's fave job was sorting out unborn lambs? Glad I make someone think of his world, it's brill isn't it.

V. I'll see you in less than a day. And Minou. In California. How bizarre is that??

M., ahhh, good one! You'd think I'd have thought of it myself, but alas. You had a long wait! I will, no worries.

Dana, Minnesota is bloody cold as well, but I wish it were closer to Ca, we could meet half way. Again! Meet again! Bald spot - if it stays around see a vet. Ringworm isn't fun. Is it circular? Pinpricky? And it doesn't, does it, and yet...

Flicka, you're so cute, thanks dahling! I'm sure I will enjoy it loads, just hope I'm not too jetlagged to talk abt it.

QuietusLeo said...

So now you know, school was the easy part.

Nancy said...

Well....Houston will be warm during the day and cool at night, so why don't you all ALL head down here!!

Oh, and uhmmmm

the castration WAS on purpose, wasn't it??

Shoe said...

GAWD! I can't believe I'm only just NOW catching up on your more recent posts!

And for all you people who seem to think that Vancouver is in the ARCTIC... it is in fact at pretty much the same latitude as Seattle. We rarely get snow, and it rarely drops below freezing. Having said that however, Johnny is bound to be freezing as she was shivering in the middle of August while I was DRIPPING with sweat. What a pair we will make.

By the way, look for the pink sign at the airport on Saturday!

M said...

Having now met Johnny in the flesh, I can say she is exactly like I had imagined, only moreso.