15 July 2008

Blood Loss Recipe

  1. Decide to apply to vet school while still living in Israel
  2. Pack your considerable bags and move back to Portugal
  3. Have your best friend drive you to the airport, where you spend the hours until you board taking fashionable - one would hope - pictures of yourselves and the cats amidst much laughter
  4. Smile bravely as your best friend dries your tears when saying goodbye and says We'll see each other very soon, Pip, you'll see, don't cry
  5. Realise in Portugal that the film has gone missing but no worries, it will turn up and you can always take more pictures, right?
  6. Realise your friend was a poor toothsayer and is very dead and that still missing film is not replaceable at all
  7. Fast forward a few years and wait for the Internal Medicine grades to be published [this has no relevance whatsoever but you're writing the post and you decide what rubbish to randomly throw in, plus you may be a tad high, see #9]; it has been almost 3 weeks since the exam, the law states no more than a fortnight can elapse and funny thing, the 2nd season exam is on Monday, which means that no one knows whether they've passed and no one will have time, if grades are published on Friday, to properly study for the exam and hence many a student is fucked, again, let's hear it for unaccountability
  8. Realise anew that Professor couldn't be less bothered by anything bcs she has always gto away with everything, why should now be any different and besides, she's too busy reviewing masters' theses, aww, our colleagues certainly need to know their grades faster than us, who have exams still, it's only logical
  9. Fast forward almost seven years from the airport moment and find 2 undeveloped films and rush to the shop, where you warn the vacant-looking human behind the counter that it will take you a while to go retrieve them (no money + a vast amount of fear, but she needs not know that). That airport film was the last of its kind you used, so one of these must have the Uzi pictures
  10. Go back to the shop to pick them up and face a blank wall and realise that yes, it has been closed down and boarded up without anyone bothering to alert customers, or at least you
  11. Meanwhile, realise your dentist has become rotten in the meantime, and is to blame for your swift albeit belated change of health professional and losing 2 teeth [whoever stills loses teeth in this century??], one of which met its maker yesterday, and the other will soon enough, and as a result you're a bit discombobulated and cannot stand the sight of icecream any longer, in fact you have come to realise you BLOODY WELL HATE ICECREAM, TOO SWEET AND BLAND, WHERE ARE YOUR CRUNCHY VEGGIES!, and you may still be a tad high on Clonix, which keeps the pain at bay but is not doing much for all the cotton in your mind, and therefore studying? Wha? Sadly, no
  12. Also meanwhile, spend a good few days on the phone trying to track down the missing films, speaking throught barely mobile lips now so as to spare an already battered mouth, all the while trying to remember not to say the Portie equivalent of Being able to bcs it comes out as a rather different word and no need to randomly bring up copulation while barely talking to strangers really, end up bcs Portuguese is a tricky that way, find a lab that knows a man, find the man, get a number, ring the number, find out that yes, they have the pics [or would-be pics, you chose to only have the negatives processed and all the pics printed out as thumbnail thingies so you can choose from them], have the woman check what they look like, she takes a look and says a few words and they include Airport and Blond Man and Tall and Blonde Girl and Tall and Cats and you are very thanful they were found but also very worried bcs this was literally the very last time you saw him, heard his voice, touched him, this was the moment before death, for you, and what if the pictures didn't come out right?, and almost as bad, what if they did?, and what will it do to your still slightly swollen face to see pictures of the last time in your mind your Tig breathed and laughed and smiled at you, not to mention that your legs are shaking so much now you fear they'll buckle under you?
  13. But you'll not risk losing them again so you will go there today, now, in fact, as soon as you hit publish bcs the fear may be huge but the longing is bigger
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PS - Thumbnails are enough for a sobfest, who ever could imagine... Uzi and I, Uzi alone, Uzi with a minuscule Hum, Uzi looking gorgeous in blue, Uzi, Uzi so pretty... Have left negatives there so they can be digitalised, father will pick them up later today, photos tonight

9 furballs:

Kristin said...

Oh wow...you found your pictures. I am so happy for you Johnny.

QuietusLeo said...

I hope it's a good kind of sobfest. It must be a relief to have found the film after so long.

Nancy said...

Oh, Johnny,
Sometimes the universe gives you an unexpected gift. It's hard now, but I think the pictures will be a good thing to have, in the long run.

Tooth trouble is the pits... and I'm a fellow tooth-trouble-is-driving-me-batty sufferer.

Diana said...

Fabulous, fabulous, FABULOUS!!! Of course there will be sobbing, when you see them and when you see them again and yet again, but the thing is that you CAN see them again and again when you choose. They are not lost, they are found and you can see them whenever you want.

I am over the moon for you. Really and truly.

As to the rest, good luck with all that. What next? Good grief.

PiquantMolly said...

Such, beautiful, amazing, painful, soul-warming news. Congratulations, friend.

Boulder said...

Can only imagine your sobfest, because my own sobfest at realizing you'd found, then lost, then found the pictures was epic in fest size.

José said...

Estória bonita!

A palavra saudade aplica-se aqui em todo o seu esplendor, não é?

Ps. Praxe?? No último ano??

Lilian said...

Oh, wow. Just wow. I've already seen them in the next post, but reading this makes it so much more... how can I say this... touching. No words really. and it probably goes deeper and beyond saudade even. I cannot imagine how it must feel.

Anonymous said...

update! (and delete this message)