08 May 2008

Speechless

I logged onto paypal and we have the MRI money already, this is crazy, CRAZY. I have done nothing but weep every time I check the donations, I have taken down the button bcs you lot have donated exactly 511 498.76 Euros since yesterday morning, it's unfathomable. I have been telling people the same thing over and over again and I will repeat myself once more bcs there is no other way but there are no words for the gratitude I'm feeling, there really aren't, or for the sense of awe. Even from those I consider friends, those I've met, it is overwhelming, but to think that people I don't know at all, there are names I have never seen in my life, have donated money so my dog could have proper care - I don't know what to say or how to say it, I mean, what little most of you know of me came only reading my blog and yet that was enough that you were moved, that you trusted that I am who I say I am, that I will use the money for what I say I will. All of you, I don't know how to thank you, I truly don't. I'll go through rare periods when I have a hard time trusting the world at large but most of the time I live on faith, easily, but this was so generous it blew even my heart wide open. I don't know if you'd like me to publish your names so I won't but I can do this - in chronological order: B, H, D, U, T, K, D, B's mum, N, M, J, D, N, A, M - muito, muito obrigada. From the bottom of my heart.

I have already told my Professor to book the MRI but it can only be done on Sundays bcs it is a human clinic, and this Sunday they can't so probably - with luck - she'll have it done on the 18th. One of the Drs even thanked me for getting the money bcs now they too will know what is wrong - he thanked me, though. As if...! Do I have a story to tell him abt human kindness - it's poetic justice, we have animated discussions all the time bcs he is one of those People Are Rubbish Give Me Animals Only All The Time persons and I belong to the Sometimes I'm Discouraged, Often I want To Throttle Them But Mostly I Believe In People. [I am also trying to wean him from saying "primitive people" but failing there as well.] I tried updating yesterday but Blogger wouldn't let me publish, I hope you saw my comment. The worst bit abt all of this is how normal Papoila is. I mean, unless you were looking for it or had a very good clinical eye you wouldn't notice that the eyelids are a bit reverted bcs the muscles attached to the eyeball are atrophied as well, sometimes it is noticeably sunken in but most of the time what is very obvious is the head atrophy. She sometimes has trouble blinking that eye and maybe it's the facial nerve becoming compromised as well, say the doctors, or maybe it'sn just that the whole side is too weak and she doesn't have enough tears. She has increased her tear production some though, she went from 0-1 mm/min to almost 5 (normal is 15 mm/min). I have uploaded more pictures to my flickr account and they're in a folder called Papoila's Mystery Atrophy but this is what the good side looks like:


And this is a combination of the bad side in the beginning (atrophy occurred over 5 days only) and after we gave her corticosteroids (hard to believe but it happened in 48h only):

She is still very much a happy dog, and has put some weight back on bcs I bought wet food and I mix a bit of it with her dry food to encourage her to chew. She can't be bothered to chew on the tennis ball, the stupid dog, she feels no strength and just drops it so I am stuck with working her jaws which she dislikes and still freaks me out bcs of the noise the 3rd eyelid makes detaching from the globe, even after I was very generous with the artificial tear gel. Blech. I tried tying her jaw with the ball btwn her teeth and fun was had by all. By the end of it I was sweating and the idiot was whimpering with fear even though it only took her abt 10 secs tops to remove the contraption it took me 10 min to create. I won't, therefore, have daily Papoila reports to give you, if all goes well she will remain stable and at this point I'm not even praying for the atrophy to revert, just for no added symptomatology. I'm hoping it's not a tumour or if it is, that it's a benign, easily accessible one. And the surgery is bound to cost less than the MRI.

The problem is, the diferential diagnoses for a unilateral atrophy include myositis, auto-immune processes, infectious diseases but at the top of the list come tumours. So my conversations have been going like this: "So, if she got worse after the prednisolone it's probably not a tumour, right? RIGHT?" "Well no, could still be. Some tumours react poorly." "But if it were auto-immune she'd have got a bit better, no?" "Not necessarily, some auto-immune diseases need drugs like cyclosporin to improve." "But this makes us think it might have an infectious cause, right? I mean, she actually got worse!" "Not necessarily, it could be so many things." "But if it were infectious she'd have other symptoms, right?" "We'd expect her to but we don't know, so we're trying everything that won't harm her and might actually do some good at the mo." "So what do we know exactly? Do we know anything at all??" "We know she needs an MRI, and other than that no one can begin to fathom what the bloody hell is happening." "But could a tumour cause an atrophy over 5 days, abruptly, and cause no other symptoms?" "Yes." "So you think it's a tumour?" "I don't think so, she's so young and otherwise fine, but-" "You don't think so or you don't want it to be so?" "Well, both." "So..." "Yeah, we need the-" "The MRI, understood." And now, thanks to all of you, she'll have it! I still feel like I was run over by a cosmic lorry though, yesterday I crawled into bed at half 9 and woke up to a fullyblown allergic crisis. If you can't beat it, somatise. Yeah, one does.

I don't have the words but I have movies. Here is JIP proving she once was a humpback whale, and here is Papoila yawning very loudly, like she always does, and the looks-black-but-is-really-dark-brown annoyed fur ball is Hum-Hum, the tripod. After yawning the dog hyperventilates a bit bcs there was an open laptop on the floor, they're notoriously dangerous. And this one shows Papoila's bad leg AND her ear-slapping me - fine revenge, it did hurt. Lastly, Hum-Hum the Wonder Tripod being annoyed, and Papoila doing the trick she learnt from watching only.

Thank you, also to all of you who're still coming here to donate. THANK YOU.

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PS - Anyone know how I can transfer the funds to my actual bank account? I thought it's be automatic bcs when I use paypal to pay for books it is, but the money shows on my paypal account but not on my bank account. Am missing a step. DONE! [Thanks, Savtadotty!] Here's what you did, you lovely, gorgeous lot, US$788.65, 498.76 Euros:

8 furballs:

Shoe said...

Me.

Grinning ear to ear.

People CAN be good.

Anonymous said...

Kisses to all four of you.

N. (I assume you used my real initial in the thank you list, right? RIGHT? So I'll use it here.)

I'm so glad it worked! Minou and Frenchman and I will be here, hoping for the best.

brooksba said...

Oh! I'm so happy that the money is there to help Papolia. I know you said thanks to everyone and as someone who met Papolia and knows what a lovely friend she is, THANK YOU for helping!

As far as transferring the funds, I don't know how to do it, but just that it can be done. I work at a bank and see it deposited to accounts all the time.

Please keep us posted on everything! Love you. Give big kisses to each of the lovely ones and I'd be happy if you snuck a special treat to Papolia!

Kisses!

Savtadotty said...

Log in to your Paypal account and somewhere along the row of tabs near the top is one called "Withdraw". If you click on that one you get the option "Transfer funds to your bank account" and that sounds like the one you want. XOXOXO Savta Dotty Tech Support

Lioness said...

Right? It's too wonderful. Beth, I've uploaded videos of all of them to my Flickr account, you'll die with the cuteness.

Oh, I feel absolutely knackered. And daft, daft as well - in my defense I can only say I am worried sick, and that tends to kill neurons, bcs only that explains my having expected Paypal to read my mind.

Dexter Colt said...

I am very happy that Papoila is able to get the MRI she needs. However, if she needs further medical care make sure to return with the donation button.

In the end, I just want to see Papolia as a happy and healthy dog. Thank you for allowing all of us to help.

CarpeDM said...

ARGH! I missed this. So sorry. I would have donated as well.

Lioness said...

D., you're sweet. Really.

Dana, you did. :) Just ask Beth.