09 May 2008

The post that refused to be much

  • Dog still very happy, owner still very grateful, dog now very grateful too bcs owner quit with the grateful crying already
  • Owner found her tug-of-war toy and dog does responds to that, so some physiotherapy has been accomplished
  • Dog has owner's doctor friends thoroughly puzzled as well - and those two could bleed pathophysiology should they want to
  • Johnny realised a while ago that she was going to have to stop smoking bcs there'd be nothing left after the dog's constant meds anyway so forget fags, but she still had some reserve packs; last ciggie smoked today at 8.17
  • [Johnny's been up since 6 bcs she practically didn't eat the day before yesterday and yesterday she craved meat to an astonishing degree and meat she got but the heavy meat-induced dream that woke her up she could have done without]
  • [Johnny had meat again for lunch, red meat, bcs a) that's what she's been craving and b) she apparently has less memory cells than a paramecia]
  • Johnny's cillia would like to thank you all for coming to their re-awakening ceremony, yarmulkes available to your right, and hope their coughing performance pleases you
  • Johnny already has some codeine pills at hand bcs she'll be damned if her hyperreactive lungs will make her cough for a whole month and a half this time
  • Johnny has procured herself some nicotine gum and is now bathing in the joys of vagal stimulation, which include hiccoughs and the occasional bout of hypersyalia, and the fears that she will soon unhinge her jaw bcs she already entered the fidgeting stage
  • [Johnny also declares she'll be pissy much if this quitting makes her gain weight bcs she already feels like she could eat everything in sight, and it needs not be cooked]
  • Johnny doesn't quite know what to do with her mouth actually, her lips to be more precise; if only she could chew on the outside but alas, she is bizarrely conscious of her lips all the time and keeps biting the lower one, she's bound to bleed fetchingly over someone soon
  • Johnny doesn't really understand why grief and libido are so closely related but what with the past few weeks and the addition of a peripatetic egg or two and the no-longer-smoking she feels she could actually devour a whole rugby team, easily
  • Johnny doesn't know what she's yapping abt anymore but speaking of lips, and kissing, [not, but see: dog, egg, hormones] here you go, have a listen, Nashki oti, why should she be randy on her own
  • [Johnny will now watch her hormonometre plummet at lightning speed as she resumes writing her kosher slaughter paper]
  • [Judaism = no sex]
  • [Honestly. Ask anyone.]
  • [Shabbat shalom]

8 furballs:

Anonymous said...

You crack me up.

I suggest a) carrot sticks, b) lots of water -- LOTS of it, 3) caffeine, which helps with the hunger, 4) more water, 5) lacking a rugby team, a date with the handy detachable shower head, or rather what it can offer you. Ahem. Distract theyself.

Am leaving this one unsigned, being a prudish Anglo (as you insist on telling me) and therefore ashamed to be associated with the above.

Lioness said...

WHAT?!?!?!?! Good God! Who are you, and what have you done with my friend!!! I can't even recognise you, have you been drinking? No, seriously?

I think my eyes are bleeding now, even as I cough up a lung laughing. My bronchospasms thank you. God, that was unexpected! :DDDDD

Lioness said...

[And regarding my saying you're prudeish, may I remind you of the log debacle and its horrendous consequences to my psyche?? YOU started it!]

Anonymous said...

So THAT'S why my wife insists on calling our shower-head 'Jim'.

Lioness said...

If I didn't know who you are, this would be a decidedly awkward comment! Then again, 'tis the season, yes?

Tia V. said...

Funny how your blog has suddenly become a place where people leave their comments in a plain brown wrapper.

Minou sends many full-bodied purrs to Papoila and co. I watched the films and was so happy to see the whole gang... esp Hum looking so pissed off. That was hilarious.


Lioness said...

Oh no, not at all, she was pulling my leg and it wouldn't work unless it were anon.

I KNOW, isn't she the best?? All you can see are the glowing green eyes!

La V. said...

"Dreaming of delicious fags." Oh, you do have a way with words, even if it is just on Twitter...