25 May 2008

Maybe not such good news

The MRI was today. She has definitely something at the base of the trigeminal nerve, which becomes more visible with contrast, and tumours are more vascularised than the surrounding tissue. So she may have a tumour, it makes sense in terms of what we saw, but, still, my Professor isn't quite convinced bcs once tumours start causing symptoms it's not usual for the animal to actually get better (very impressive atrophy though, especially seen from the inside), could be myositis but unilateral ones are stupidly rare so now we'll have to wait for the report from the radiologist, which should arrive by Tuesday or Wednesday. If it is a tumour nothing can be done bcs of its location, but my professor says they grow very slowly. I asked how slowly and he said 2 years. I will not worry abt it until I have to, so instead I choose to concentrate on the fact that even on an MRI Papoila managed to look adorable, you could tell that, as always, she had one ear up and one down. She is now peacefully sleeping on the floor next to me, wrapped up in blankets, while I hydrate her tongue every so often bcs she still has it sticking out. SHE WILL BE FINE.

It was a horrific experience though. The past 10 days have been crazy, I haven't even gotten around to writing the Vociferation - Part 2 post, school has been... Even for this degree, words fail me. They fail me. But I think with all the stress genes are beginning to tell and I am finally turning into my father's colon, I have been subjected to my duodenum for the past week, and it's war. I have borborygmi all the bloody time and very bad nausea, and, er, shall we call it explosive loss of fluids. I'll make the next bit cryptic bcs those of you able to understand will probably not be grossed out anyway and those of you who can't are spared, so let's say today I realised, after some prodding from my Dr. friend (Crinoline, not Shrimpy) that my gallbladder is now involved too - or refusing to be involved, more accurately - bcs steatorrhaea?? REALLY? I'm Female and Forty and Fat and Febrile, apparently. Meds will be bought tomorrow. Anyway, eating has been difficult [Less bum though! Might as well make the omolette!] and the nausea has been prevalent and so the fact that Papoila stopped breathing post-anaesthesia shortly after being placed on the machine and refused to resume breathing for the longest time nearly - literally - made me hurl. Crinoline came along bcs she'd never seen an MRI and when I realised they were pulling Papoila's tongue and massaging her chest and pulling her ears and she wasn't reacting my friend kept telling me to go out for a bit, bcs obviously, particularly if you're in vet school and know what it means, you'll choose the time when your dog is having a respiratory arrest to go for a stroll, and she kept asking me questions to try and distract me which, again, very noble but not going to work. Finally, after a truly, TRULY long time - almost-vet speaking, not just owner - she started bretahing again but bloody hell, really, I almost vomited.

And I am now sorry I didn't, bcs, see, we got the MRI technician from the depths of the folds of hell's armpits. I don't know what was wrong with her, I honestly don't. I was taking pictures of her being put under (on the floor, on plastics) and took one of her on the machine bcs a) we do it automatically at school, we document every procedure and b) I wanted to show you what you helped make possible and when I took the last picture she came in and said I couldn't photograph the institution. I said The institution? and she said Yes, I hadn't even asked anyone and I said the mattr had actually come up outside when my friend remarked upon my taking pics of my Professor et al and I'd laughed and said that's what we do at school and everyone laughed and she said no, we needed to delete them and I said nothing bcs it was an old camera, not ven a digital one, it was a film that crinoline had in with 20 pics already taken but then she realised it wasn't a digital camera and was very fretful, I mean, we had photographed The Institution, and my friend said she should fret no more, she'd expose the whole film if it made her feel better and so we did and dude, The Institution?? It's an MRI machine! And before that, it was a dog lying on white plastic sheets, and then on a gurney! And then she loudly complained to my professor that people suerly wouldn't appreciate it if other people did this in their homes now would they, and that was so dumb (nevermind rude) that it left me even more speechless bcs really, it is so unusual for people to have other people take pictures in their homes, yes, I think it's called Friends, and Family, and Having Fun and Creating Memories, no?, must be a threat to The Home, and I swear, the only reason I didn't tell her exactly what I thought of her, bcs she could have politely mentioned the clinic has a no pics policy when she first saw the camera, not throw a hissy fit long after the fact, was the fact that she still had not done the bloody MRI of MY dog, and I couldn't even be sure she'd not be negligent if I pissed her off and believe me, I would have. For 500E the least I can expect of you is politeness and professionalism, I'd say.

And the best part? When Papoila stopped breathing do you know how long it took her to go fetch the oxygen? DO YOU? It was mental, I felt like I would burst out of my skin, and when she finally did she did it sloooooowwwwly, because nothing says i like a patient that's not breathing. I could have killed her, I still could kill her now, or at least hurt her very badly, the stupid, stupid cow. I will never understand how people become so enamoured with non-existent power that they turn into perfect twats, and if this had all happened after the MRI I'd be feeling much better now bcs the toad I was forced to swallow for the sake of my dog would be tapdancing across her ugly, pudgy face.

The MRI is done now, and we will know as much as we can by Wednesday or, failing that, time will tell. And the MRI is done bcs you were amazingly generous and made it possible, and I will never ever forget this, and, much like with Uzi, I will never ever be able to find the words to tell you how absolutely gorgeous humans can make the world. And now I will rotate her yet again and see if she needs cleaning up again bcs she pooped a while ago (and we both have borborygmi now), and lie by her side for a bit bcs she's having a rough time coming out of the anaesthesia, she's disoriented and it must all be very frightening and she keeps peeing herself and hates it, but she knows me and quiets down, and I know her and I can't sleep and my gut needs it as well.

7 furballs:

Shoe said...

Oh, Johnny. Just.... oh.

As much as I adore you in spite (or is it despite) never having met you (I'm fairly sure it's despite, yes?) I feel precisely the same way about your darling furry family. (I hate how daft that sounds, 'furry family', but honestly what else could they really be called? I often refer to my pets as small furry people with a speech impediment, AGAIN that sounds positively REVOLTING, but ATGAIN I just don't know how else to express how much these creatures mean to me, and therefore your animals mean just as much to me as do you... good lord I'm rambling, but I'm just so damn emotional after reading this post that I've completely lost all sense of decorum and possibly rational thought as well. Shrug.)

I just so WISH I could be there with you all right now. Taking shifts making sure Papoila is ok, cleaning up her mess, reassuring her that it's ok, reassuring you that it's ok.

DAMN. I'm just so distraught about this whole bloody thing. The fucking twat at the 'Institution'. Is there any wonder that 'TIT' lies at the core of that word? Bloodyfuckinghellinahandbasket.

I'm so sorry, Johnny. My own rambling hysteria is probably the LAST fucking thing you need right now. But I just can't seem to STOP myself.

Fuck. Fuckeryfuckityfuckingfuck.

Let Wednesday please come quickly. Screw the space/time continuum thing. Just fucking GET HERE NOW, damn fucking Wednesday.

I better go before I do any further damage.

Fuck.

Tia V. said...

I wish I could have been there with you and Papoila at the MRI and after. Thank you for this update -- I've been wondering all day how it went. And I'm sending you both love and healing thoughts, and hoping, hoping that Papoila will have many more joyous days running on the beach. She's survived so much already, and so have you, and you both deserve some time in the sun together, playing and laughing and panting and not worrying about a thing.

Diana said...

Well, at least we have some preliminary knowledge and will know more after it's formally read.

As for The Troll, I'm flabbergasted as to what would be the problem with photos. As for her actions and non-actions, well, death's too good for her.

Udge said...

{{{ johnny }}}

For once I'm speechless, without even having googled steatorrhaea. I wish you both good health and better health care. Death to trolls.

T said...

Hugs to you both, feel better soon. It was an honour to help!

José said...

Fotografar a Instituição?!
Devia ser a clínica do SIS, não???
Enfim...há técnicos de saúde (médicos incluídos) que parecem ter tirado o curso na escola das SS...

Quanto a si: trate-se!
Quero continuar a lê-la por muito tempo.

CarpeDM said...

OOH! That bitch! ARGH! I want to go punch her right now. She actually made you expose the film? Seriously? And the whole oxygen thing? GRR!

Okay, calming down. Calming...realizing that I can't go punch her...why is Portugal so bloody far away? Why?