03 April 2008

"The knack lies in learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss."

Porties are an odd mix at times. Even though I am generally always blunt I am never crude, not really, and I don't cope with crudeness very well. The boundaries aren't necessarily obvious; I will forever maintain that Tena*cious D's Fu*ck Her Ge*ntly is simply one beautiful, lustful love song and we should all be so lucky [I am posting the video below for a brief while only as I'm sure it infringes upon all sorts of terms to give you the chance to enjoy one of the funniest videoclips ever made] but nothing in this song is gratuitous or aimed to offend, and I think this is where the line lies, for me. One of them anyway, bcs - add to it the double standards: I may curse with my girlfriends but I don't really go beyond a resounding Bloody hell when with men, especially in Portuguese. Everything is harsher in Portuguese anyway and what works in English may very easily be totally vulgar in my mother tongue. Just yesterday a friend of mine replied with fuck off on MSN to my riling her but she's a girl and this was in English. In Portuguese she'd probably have typed a version of the word shit (badamerda), to which I'd have replied You go, but we don't blithely venture into pseudo-reproductive territory. Even in English there is a lot I'm not comfortable with and, again, especially with men. That endearing Anglo habit of playfully giving someone the finger? It's all good from a girlfriend if she doesn't mean it but if a man did it I would be much displeased bcs, the way I was brought up, men do not give women the finger, full stop. [They also do not give other men the finger in front of us, either.] [And yet we go topless on the beach but yes, it is different.] [God, cultural diferences are fun, no?] Saying Fuck you in anger during a fight? Oh, we have a problem with that. It is unthinkable to do it in Portuguese anyway but even in English it would stop my heart if a girlfriend did it to me and it would most certainly turn into a very interesting fight. To think of a man doing it is horrifying to us Portie Pea Princesses and it might very well end in tears, slapping or sudden death. Maybe even a combination of all?

You'd think I'd be able to get to the point quickly but when has that ever happened. I don't actually even think there is a point. Do you know how this post started in my mind? With Manuela, she of the Moulin Rouge-themed wedding, and it had abt 4 lines only, and now look. It's amazing what my mind holds. I have been living in my computer, what with not sleeping and all, but, what with not sleeping and all, there are only a few things I am in the mood for and I keep checking the same blogs over and over again and loudly admonishing the bloggers for not posting more and berating their commenters for not further keeping me entertained. [This has also reminded me of how much we gesticulate and shrug even when alone.] As horrific as bad insomnia can be it does have the benefit of funnelling my sense of humour in a way. I have always been unable to resist nonsense humour even of the daft sort [where can you find a legless tortoise? In the same place you left it] but during an insomnia bout I will easily giggle for hours on end over something perfectly inane. Manuela and have a similar sense of humour and we very often end up in hysterics when talking to each other; she was spot on when she thought I'd very much appreciate this song. It is easily one of the funniest things I've ever heard and I don't think I'll ever be able to hear the word chafing again (...softly...) without thinking of it. And this is what I mean by insomnia lowering my threshold, funny as it certainly is I don't think I'd be watching it this abusively were I sleeping but right now it just tickles me nonstop in all the right places.

Since I have been living in my computer I was online when Manuela's gmail description changed to There's a naked man across the street, which, considering she works in downtown Vancouver (right?), I found absolutely hilarious. I typed a quick message asking her abt it but she must have gone away immediately bcs I didn't hear from her for quite a while until, abruptly, I saw this message: You know, scrotum just ain't hot.

And I sense this one will last me a very long while bcs these days I'm easy like that.

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[CHAFING...]

6 furballs:

Udge said...

FECKIN' brilliant, the pair of them. (How the woman in "Oh girl" kept a straight face the whole time, I shall always wonder.)

Shoe said...

I think it's just the most wondrous thing when people find the same things funny to the same degree. I only experience that brand of pure giddiness with a few individuals, my sister is one, Attila is another, and you... of course, in SPADES. (Have never understood that expression by the way.) I still have to stifle my mirth at the thought of your ".... My EYES are ADORRRRABLE..." see... I'm in a giggle fit again just writing it.

Chimmy's Ghost said...

I curse like a sailor. How many times would I have to be slapped before I knew to hold my tongue?

Lioness said...

Udge, I barely see her, I am always watching his Backstreet Boys hands or face, too precious! And the other bloke as well, he's just lying there but he is so expressive! And he uses this very soft voice for those song footnotes and I just find it deliriously delicious and the whole thing just makes me an altogether happier and considerably more adjusted person And I just read the link you sent me and am laughing again, honest bloke may be alrigth after all if it doesn't include foreplay, right? Though in his case I fear it might.
(And HEY!I resent your telling me you hope I am "less mad today". I'm ALWAYS very stable, dear boy.)

Manuela, you crazy eat-dinner-at-6pm, go-to-bed-at-9pm Canucka, YOU said it, not me! But granted, it was a defining moment in my life and I am too, thinking abt it. (I actually first wrote a "defining moment in my laugh", which is kind of pretty in a rainbowy, unicorny way.)

Chimmy, it's YOU! Really you! Yesterday I clicked on a link of your former self (this former self actually) and was abt to click on the blog link when I remembered you had taken the posts down. Does this mean...? Oooh, must go see!

I talked to you for 5 hours and we never once had a cultural moment, were you paralised with shock? Or do you mean you curse at them? Tell me, the dormant Anthro in me is very curious, how is it for women there, do they mind much being cursed at or do they curse back? Bcs some women here don't mind at all and the things they'll yell back are just amazing. Ualla. And I meant in anger, obviously, that's what I was talking abt, not your average "this food is fucking gorgeous" or "for fuck's sake". And are you mad?? If you told me to fuck off and meant it I wouldn't slap you, you're Chimmy, you've been around since Pangaea, I'd probably be all trembly lip and brimming eyes, CHIMMY WAS RUDE TO ME!, *sob*, and then you'd feel forced to buy me loads of banana ice-cream and watch chick flicks with me (HA!) but then my bum would become huge and then I would slap you.

José said...

É, as diferenças culturais existem.
Mas julgo que serão mais geracionais, por um lado, e regionais, por outro.
O que quero dizer é que a sua geração e as mais velhas não terão essas reacções gestuais ou verbais e, se as tiverem, sentir-se-ão em transgressão
Agora, as gerações mais novas, sobretudo as que saiem agora da adolescência não me parece que tenham tantos pruridos com a linguagem (ainda que gestual).
em determinadas regiões do país, que conheço muito razoavelmente, assisti a troca de argumentos que muito enriqueceram o meu vocabulário vernáculo, e tratava-se de pessoas mais velhas do que eu, daí os regionalismos.
Mas é bem verdade que os anglos têm uma língua muito mais solta do que nós, e socialmente mais conformados com essa liberdade de expressão.

Lioness said...

Eu sei, os meus colegas deixam-me frequentemente de boca aberta. Não sei, faz-me pena, estão cada vez mais imaturos, petulantes e malcriadões. Os meus professores queixam-se imenso e eu noto uma diferença muito grande também.

Aceito as diferenças culturais, os minhotos que conheço têm uma língua muito mais solta do que os alentejanos, por exemplo, mas acho que a partir de um determinado grau de diferenciação deixa de haver tolerância para regionalismos, boas maneiras é bom e a gente gosta, não é?