13 April 2008

"Good moaning..."

"...I was pissing outside", anyone remember 'Allo 'Allo and The British soldiers? Yes? No? Good morning!, it's half six and the birdies are singing outside, they're actually very loud and it's gorgeous, and I just woke up, slept 7.30 proper hours, the little half pill worked!, am still sleepy and would have slept longer were it not for the side effects, terrible thirst woke up me up, I'm now one of those people who gets up in the middle of the night to drink water, getting up to pee is probbaly next, I would go back to bed but am expected at the synagogue at 10 to go hunt down and zap all the hametz in preparation for Pessach with my superhero eyes so leaven shall know no rest, this pill has really left me drugged, feel like a puddle dragged through the mud, my eyes are plastered to the back of my head, be thankful I'm in my living-room and not anywhere near you bcs my mind is doing a stream of consciousness thingy that is very bizarre, feels like I'm trapped in the Heart of Gold, I'm sitting here typing and there's this monologue running in the back of my mind, like my usual rambley-bfr-sleep self only chemically enhanced and therefore much more intense, right now I could keep a small African nation awake with my incessant chatter, it's like that line that I remember from The Gods Must Be Crazy, "Is the noise in my head bothering you?", how do I remember that after over two decades and wow I can talk in decades, sobering, have driven pets away already, much frownery over being squeezed first thing in the morning the little pedants, do you know, I can't wait to see a raccoon, have never seen a raccoon, how very Southern European of me, would love to see a possum as well but ooh raccoons, so pretty, wonder if the corset will fit me, hope nothing ends up hanging out, how will I dance on heels, how do Anglos dance anyway and what is this thing they do abt dancing non-slow musics together, how does that work, and how do they actually slow-dance?, we cross our arms behind the man's neck but Anglos dance with one hand out, eh?, what if it rains the whole time, all the books will be soaked, wonder how long it will take me to get a tan this year and will I ever shut the fuck up, still pissy that people don't update their blogs in a way that meets my awake-time requirements and let's not even mention their lazy commenters, need to do something for school, need to figure out what analyses to request to test the thing we made, would you believe I can't think of the name, the thing when you take chopped up pieces of seasoned pork and stuff it into some intestine and then tie off the ends and you end up with a big, hard roll of - gunk really, it's not sausages it's GAH can't remember, vile classes those are, ooh the sun is up now, looks clear, will Spring be here for good now I wonder, do you know what I'm tired of?, weak men, men with complicated little minds, men who are enamoured of their balls but fail to realise they've not descended, intra-abdominal manliness, meet the claw, NEXT!, yesterday I had scrambled eggs with tomatoes first thing in the morning, red, ripe, fresh tomatoes, sliced and salted, orgasmic little things, reminded me of how much better I function when I start the day with a hefty dose of protein, cereal never did much for me, my best days are the ones when I've slept a lot and woke up early on my own and ate a proper meal, I can actually eat proper meals for breakfast, if I lived in a hotel I could eat like that very morning but on my own I can't be bothered, especially if I slept little and woke up nauseated (which is sadly almost every morning), am longingly thinking of the eggs and the tomatoes but the sleeping pill has turned my stomach a bit so cappuccino it is, please someone shut me up and also, remind me to never listen to Alice Cooper's Poison again while ovulating, must attend to some chemical hangover nursing but that’s okay, the world needs nurses, too.

15 furballs:

Udge said...

What a wonderful stream of consciousness post. I'm glad you are sleeping well and feeling better.

BTW Dooce had a close encounter with a raccoon recently, with photos. They are very cute, but are also destructive pests. There's a bounty on them in urban areas in Canada, the govt pays you to kill them.

Viscondessa said...

Oh, Udge, that is horrible! Raccoons are adorable and gentle and inquisitive, how could anyone want to kill them? There was a family of them living under my parents' deck for quite some time, a sweet bunch of babies they had, I'm really very upset to hear that Canadians are being paid to kill them. Not here in California, thank god for that.

Johnny, we will definitely arrange for you to see a raccoon. Not to worry.

As for anglos slow-dancing to slow songs with one hand out -- huh!? No, our generation dances with the arms crossed behind the man's neck, as you describe.

So glad to hear you slept. Am off to do so myself, now. Post-soup. Yum. [Started the day off right, too, with scrambled eggs and potatoes made by the Frenchman with grace and good-morning cheer. When you come [shhhhh!] we'll treat you well, yes indeed, protein and all.]

Lioness said...

Udge, oy, do not tell mesuch things ever! They'll keep me awake and I need no help with that already. I choose to see raccoons from the wildlife rehabbers perspective, LALALA TRYING HARD TO FORGET THE BOUNTY NOW.

V., oh enough with the food teasing already, you evil woman! Very glad to hear abt the slow-dancing, the other way looks very strange. Blame the films for my incomplete knowledge. You know, I was just thinking abt kids nowadays, they don't have those parties anymore where everyone shyly slow-dances . At 14, 15 it sent your pulse racing straight away, an introduction of sorts right? That's and how I first found out that men smell delicious. It's also how I became imprinted on Cacharel Pour L'Homme. They don't have that anymore. God, they don't even have 80's music! Poor sods.

Viscondessa said...

Ah, but they do have 80s music. It's "retro," also known as "música vintage," and they listen to it while wearing legging and primary colored flats and big plastic bangles. It's true. We're so old, not only do we speak in decades, but our high school fashions are now hip in a "vintage" sort of way. Ghastly. Ghastly. Ghastly. Next thing you know, they'll be wearing pants with zippers at the ankles and that little upside down Guess triangle on the back pocket.

QuietusLeo said...

Damn, your stream of conciousness is good, even your comment streams of consiousness.
Ah, nostalgia, I miss the music of the 70's! And now I've ordered my first pair of multifocals, blech!
My ocular situation is thus: I can't see the end of my nose, and nothing beyond that either. Feh!

QuietusLeo said...

And besides, I upped my post rate just for you, and what do I get? Nary a comment from the lioness. For shame.

Lioness said...

V.,not here. They only dress up like our teenage selves for parties. Could be worse, they could be rediscoveng the hair styles.

Quietusleo, how nice of you! I assumed you wouldn't post again in a while, sorry. I've never cared much for 70's music put play some 80's one and I'll be completely and utterly happy. Let's not discuss eyesight, am more short-sighted by the minute. Maybe as I age the tired vision will compensate for it and I'll end up with perfect vision. Yes, it MIGHT happen.

QuietusLeo said...

Yeah, when pigs fly.
Oh, BTW, I forgive you this time ;P

Udge said...

raccoons dig like moles and breed like cockroaches, they are as dexterous as monkeys and as smart as small children In a word: a menace to civilization.

Lioness said...

Pigs could fly.

/Me bans mean mean Udge.

José said...

Alice Cooper????
Ele ainda existe??
Xiiiiii... é mais velho do que a Sé de Braga... ou quase.
Mas os gostos musicais são mesmo muito diversificados! Para quem gostava daquela música israelita xaroposa, ouvir Alice Cooper...

Lioness said...

Não faço ideia se ainda existe mas dele só gosto desta. E shmalz só mesmo aquela também, e em hebraico. Como vê, só excepções!

Lioness said...

Also, people? Am a little disappointed that no-one caught the reference in the text to a very brilliant series. Is everyone dead inside??

CarpeDM said...

Was it Allo Allo because I do remember that show vaguely.

Heart of Gold? Um, lost. I'm sorry. Please don't hate me!

Lioness said...

No, it was the nurses bit. It's from Heroes.