11 January 2008

Some of my best friends are Portuguese

  1. Eeek, first exam written. Surgery: Boney structures, Head, Abdomen. Professors, really? Bcs I can actually tell left from right on a bone, or visualise anything, for the matter? There's this thingy you do to the femur where you create a channel and pass a cerclage (wire) shaped like an 8 into it and then do something to it to achieve stabilisation (hip dysplasia, very fascinating) and I was looking at the drawings and I STILL DON'T UNDERSTAND how it's supposed to work! In Portugal we have the habit of saying, when someone fails to understand something, "Shall I draw it for you?" [meant ironically of course, we once sort of ruled the world (can't fathom it) but really we are a nation of short, bitter, secretely sardonic Porties whose greatest joys are football, mall-haunting and Schadenfreude] and YES PLEASE WHY DON'T YOU, I'd love it if you could confuse me further. I am hopeless with this spatial rubbish, hopeless, and it's a humungous waste of my time (and theirs) for me to be forced to learn (ha!) how to perform such exotic surgeries. And boring, gosh but they are boring, especially orthopoedics. Anyway, it's written and with a bit of luck I will have passed it. Luck will be needed bcs, as is my wont, for some of the questions that required answers I remembered how many bulleted procedures there were, and part of the names, and on which page they were [1. on the bottom - left, 2.+3. on the top - right] and that, as you may imagine, is so very helpful. You know what else is brilliant? When your Professor takes a look at your colleagues' exams while you're still writing yours and sadly shakes his head. Yes, I am confident.
  2. Know what annoys the bloody hell out of me? Use your words. It sounds demented and drives me batty. Must be an Anglo Child-Rearing Proven Method of such complexity that it eludes me. I know what they mean but wouldn't it sound slightly less mental if the parent said Talk, PrincZ Tawonda, don't hit? Explain, please, if you can. Diana already clarified the Pink Eye Phobia Must Stay Away From School Or Else Race Extinction so you're good on that count. I'll leave the whole name thingy aside for now, there's a limit to the amount of perplexity I want to self-induce on any given day.
  3. Speaking of Porties, I laughed till I cried watching this, it so worth it, so sobering. Enjoy the minute, the world does know us. Ahhh, shabbat shalom, dahlings.


video
(The New Adventures of Old Christine, "Some of my best friends are Portuguese")

8 furballs:

JoeinVegas said...

Do you eat Raisen Bran in Portugal?

Hope you passed.

Udge said...

And having been to Portugal, I can confirm that it's all true!

And a delayed shabbat shalom to you too. Nice to hear you in a happy mood again. I refuse to discuss the e**m issue except to say "50.1%"

Diana said...

Nope. Can't explain. I'm a fan of "Don't hit."

Wait.

Portugal isn't a province of Spain? Boy is my face red.

Were it me, I'd draw solice from the Professor shaking his head over the exams of your hastier classmates. At least I'd know that no matter what, my exam wouldn't be the only one to cause sorrow; but I'm selfish like that.

Dumdad said...

Thanks for popping over to my blog world.

I enjoyed the video. Then I started reading your post and then older posts and couldn't stop.

P.S. I love Portugal and things Portuguese (wine, food). We went there on holiday once (pre kids) and everyone was extremely friendly. A lovely country. There are a lot of Portuguese who live in Paris and a good friend of ours is Portuguese; we speak in French although her French is better than mine.

QuietusLeo said...

Now I REALLY want to visit Portugal!

Viscondessa said...

Surely the writers are lusoamerican. That's just too dead-on not to be written by someone in the know...

As for "use your words," I can't express how much that makes me want to scream -- oops, I mean, to use my words to say "that whole 'use your words' thing is a load of hogwash." Why don't they just say, "Stop screaming, kid, and tell me what's bothering you?"

Panda said...

Have never - will never - said "use your words".

"Tell me what you want or you dont get anything" is bandied about frequently though.

Lioness said...

Joe, not even sure... Am not such a fan of breakfast cereal but surely w do. It wasn't that it was funny bcs it was so accurate, the dismissive ton of it all just fits my sad country prfctly...

Udge, what IS the e**m issue?? You know better than to be cryptic during exams, my good man.

Diana, I knew you'd never tell your children such inanities, it's beyond comprehension. And you have it wrong, it's not a province of Spain, it's the most developed province of Northern Africa. There you go.

Hi Dumdad! It is true, we're a tremendously helpful and hospitable people and are forever feeding everyone. Paris used to be the largest 2nd city in terms of Portie population bcs of all the emmigrants, not sure whether it still is. And I too hear our win is fantastic though sadly, I lack that particular appreciation gene.

Quietusleo, now you realy MUST!

V., when I visit let's haunt a playground and be vile to that type of mother. how abt it?

Panda, you're ALIIIIIVE! *faint* That is such a sane Aussie thing to say it had me laughing!