13 November 2007

The Hills Are Alive

[Keeping in with the title and the subject this post is brought to you in full Yodelling Maria garb but - things being as they are and me being what I am - I would like to make it clear that said garb is, as a matter of fact, fully made of matzah.]

You know, awareness of others should be a mandatory sapiens-y requirement but there you go, you can only hope for the best really and, in case of contamination, run for the hills. I have been spending an inordinate amount of my time hilling haven't I but look here, the air is crisp if a bit rarefact and the occasional glimpse of the rare Richard's Pipit makes it all so very worthwhile.

Some things in life are dealt with by being patient and supposedly wise but when that goes against your antennae you have only your bloody self to blame for not sorting it out sooner. I am who I am and the worst bits of me need improvement and I certainly intend to work on them but I will not repeat that mistake, I will not be meek when there is a jugular in desperate need of a topographic makeover. I am very much as I will remain and, well -


You may know me as Johnny but I'm actually a girl and John is actually part of my given name bcs us Porties are very sexually ambiguous and deviant and if we fed on coral chances are we could switch sexes if demographics demanded it. You may also know me as Lioness bcs a group of people started calling me that ages ago for reasons I have yet to clarify but are most likely quite anti-climatic and when I needed a username I preyed upon it [ha!] by default. Which was a funny thing to do, see, bcs I can be strong - I am strong - but I often find the price too high and when the sky falls on my head, Gaulois-like, I may run from the heeIs.


My choice of alias turned out to be quite fitting, it never lasts for very long bcs hiding is not really like me. And fuck me if I haven't learnt my lesson this time, I HAVE, I absolutely have: I promise you, I assure you, I will never again risk losing important parts of me while looking for middle ground. I AM WHO I AM, no apologies, and those who cannot cope should go play somewhere else, my bloody sandpit is not for the faint of heart. All weakness-based life forms are welcome to address their complaints with the bouncer.

10 furballs:

CarpeDM said...

I am meowing back (not so much a lion as a slightly insane domestic cat) to let you know that I love who you are and if someone doesn't like it, they can bite me. Or, well, I suppose I will bite them.

Diana said...


(on both cheeks)

Udge said...

Growl on!

M said...

I guess now is not the time to criticiZe your American English; later, perhaps.

Lioness said...

Dana, smooches!

Diana, well done, I'll make a Portie out of you yet. Kisses back.

Udge, oh, no worries, I bloody will.

M, no no no pleaZe do! I'd love to hear what you have to say.

brooksba said...

I'm creeping out of hiding to let you know that I do still read and that I'm glad I know you. The first time I got to "meet" you, you roared quite brilliantly. I think Lioness is a great alias. Miss you much!

*Mrow* (Said in the high-pitched voice of the vicious killing machine at my moms. He might be a really good hunter, but he squeals like a baby.)

Kristin said...

I am glad to see this Johnny here!

The said...

Beth, miss you too - and I painfully remember that!

Kristin, you have no idea - SO DO I!

kirkjerk said...

Possibly dumb question, but asked in an honest spirit of inquiry:

Is the Portie sexual ambivalence thing more prevalent in one gender directon or another? You know 2 of my 3 models for Portuguese malehood, though they did have that friend -- Alex, was it? -- I think we went shopping for him around Times Square.

Bravo if so, in general. I ain't glam enough to do the David Bowie thing, but I always dig on a certain symmetry in some gender roles ...

Lioness said...

Good grief, we did?? We went shopping for him?? Oh my God, the things we block!

I was joking abt the sexual ambivalence bit, merely referring to the fact that we add Maria to some boy names and José/João to some girl names as the second given name. As for Alex, no ambivalnce whatsoever, very gay he was - I take it he still is, haven't seen him in years and years. I'd say your 2 models were not the typical Porties in some ways, as I'm sure you noticed from the fact alone that they chose to (gasp) leave the country and the fams, but as far as manliness they're typically Porties. Alright, who's your 3rd model?? Email me!

I actually LIKE being called Johnny, I think it fits me even though I'm not manly (or so I hope) or sexually ambivalent, but I understand your Bowie remark.