28 September 2007

And so the saga continues

As Spike said in one of my favourite episodes ever, It's all very traumatic.

Remember how I said I am an idiot in my last post? Well, shocker, I AM an idiot! IDIOT! I did cut up every bloody little photograph and yesterday saw me warily approaching the school office [they have been known to do... things], wrist already bound in preparation for filling in my name and number and name of subject 36 times [THIRTY-SIX TIMES! Because I'll have 18 subjects this year! EIGHTEEN! Which means - 21 exams! TWENTY-ONE! Shoot me now.] and even took my own glue tube along, just in case.

And there I stood, all fighting stance and all, ready to fight the burocracy and win, so I handed in the first general form and said "I would like to have 36 subject forms please" and the lady looked at me, quite puzzled, and replied "But we don't use them anymore. We didn't use them last year either, don't you remember?"

HALLO! DO I SOUND LIKE THE SORT OF PERSON THAT REMEMBERS THINGS??

[Anyone care for a little photograph of Replicant Me? I have 40 of those now, redundantly so.]

And then, of course - of course! - she added "Oh but you forgot to give me the xerox copy of your ID and Finances card!" and WHAT?, so at that point I slithered to the floor and started banging my head against the tiles [Bad Lioness, bad BAD Lioness!] until all will to live exited my body and I was all fuzzy thoughts, floating protoplasmically in a cloud of kittens and flowery doilies, and should you ever visit my university and hear strange metallic noises erupting from the walls that will be me, forever haunting the pipes and rattling ruminant harnesses.

So today I marched right back in armed with the bloody xerox copy, all kittens and doilies again due to having just given a small powerpoint presentation on Mor*axella b*ovis (which went very well despite my a) having to actually talk bfr an audience and b) having prompted alarmed remarks from the rest of my group such as "Are you quite sure you're awake??" - I was, mostly, I just don't do miosis well first thing in the morning, remember? - and "Shouldn't you get a coke first?"- already done, le'haim - I was actually not nervous at all so it was hysterical that my colleague, the Pinkie stabber, found it necessary to urge me every 5 minutes TO PLEASE CALM DOWN!), and I handed in the form and even remembered to get money to pay for the insurance (a very good thing this was, what with cows and I) and was all happy and done and closured and the kitties looked simply adorable with the tea doilies over their heads when I realised the lady was still looking at me expectantly and I could see my kittens' lower lips starting to quiver so I quickly smiled and very emphatically said "We're all done, yes? *nods vigourously*" and she asked "But aren't you a working student?" AND FUCK ME IF I DIDN'T FORGET TO GET THE FINANTIAL DECLARATION AS WELL!

All I have to do now is go to a Finances Department near me, wait in line for 5 hours to fill in yet another form and have them forget to process the stupid thing for 4 months like last time. "You can bring it in on Monday", the lady said. Hahahahahah!

IDIOT!

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PS - And tonight I'll light an extra candle for my darling Manuela, who received horrid IVF news and whom I cannot help at all bcs nothing does and it breaks my heart, it all breaks my heart.

5 furballs:

CarpeDM said...

Yes, but such an entertaining idiot. I love that he will be forever known as the Pinkie Stabber.

brooksba said...

I, too, appreciate that he is known as the Pinkie Stabber. Sounds like something that one would hear during the 50's, which is a bit unusual, but still a funny nickname.

I hope the line is not 5 hours long. 21 exams? That is too many. This is your last year, right?

Nancy said...

21 exams?

Oh Lioness!

Oh, and will it be "Pinkie" for short?

Kristin said...

What a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. UGH...{{{Hugs}}} and well wishes to Manuela.

Diana said...

Heartfelt sympathy to Manuala. It doesn't help, I know, but there it is.

You, mon petite replicant, I think are the butt of the beaurocrat's joke-of-the-month. Perhaps, now that it's October, they will find another victim? Bring a book and a folding chair for your assault on the Finances Dept.