11 August 2007

And off she goes again!

Going clubbing tonight, and am a bit scared. Am going with my girlfriend B. and the last few times we've tried going clubbing ended with her falling asleep on my couch, and me along with her. That was years ago though and the last time, she just reminded me, was my fault for I do not much care for red wine and she clean forgot abt it and brought a bottle of biologically-grown goodness to share with me - her absent-mindedness is even worse than mine and everyone who knows me knows how bad that is - and then she felt compelled to drink it all bcs no one in their right mind could let a perfectly good half bottle go to waste so the whole bottle it was and we never did leave the house. And another time she forced me to watch Eight Women, that horrid little French film with a demented plot and singing, SINGING, why must people sing in films, why why why, it's traumatising, Catherine Deneuve you go back to being a whore and keep your mouth shut unless your trade requires it.

Our hearts will be broken though. My friend V. and I had a Name That 80's Song contest 2 days ago via Youtube and by the end of it we were dancing in our seats, and she reminded me that when she was last in Portugal the 3 of us went out looking for 80's music - and our hearts were broken. See the pattern? It's now 21.15 and that leaves me with 2 hours to get ready which should be more than enough but honestly, going clubbing with her is a whole other level of clubbing, the woman has the stamina of a bulldozer and is apparently ovulating, which should make for a nice way for her to meet new blokes (pheromones and all) (honestly) and keep her on her feet til 6 am but - oh bloody hell, we'll see. Maybe she'll take the car so I can drink! And lisp! And giggle! Maybe we can pretend to be foreigners, that's always a nice way to get rid of unwanted attention since the typical Portie male on an alcoholic prowl has a rather poor mastery of foreign languages, as long as I remember not to say I'm Finnish and then realise that this bloke I'm talking to is actually Swedish and DID YOU KNOW THAT SOME SWEDES ACTUALLY DO SPEAK FINNISH AND VICE-VERSA? My friend just stood behind him and mimed a digging of a grave as I smiled inanely and Ja-ja-ed loads, hopefully at the right times, assuming that ja is yes in Finnish as well. He was not fooled much.

We don't have much hope of finding an 80's party anywhere but this should be memorable, she attracts things - when she's not with me, at least. Let's hope they're good ones. Let's hope they're bloggable ones.

Oh God, what shall I wear?? Trousers, skirt? My sexy-jeans I now fit into again? Hair up or down? This trying to decide what clothes to wear 2 days in a row is tiring, TIRING!

That date yesterday? Let's not mention it again. For some reason I'm reminded of the time I was snogging this boy I'd been fancying for ages - bit of a Sloane Ranger, terribly long name and all that and his grandma was still related to the Royal Spanish Family and invited to events, all very posh - in a gazebo so it was all terribly romantic as well and immediately upon kissing me he stuck his hand between my jeans-clad legs and immediately upon having his hand stuck between my legs I slapped him with all my might and he looked at me in utter shock and said What?? You're 19, you couldn't possibly still be a virgin! Words failed me then, words still fail me now. Last I heard he'd been forced to get married in a hurry at the ripe age of 22 bcs he had impregnated some obviously handless girl.] [Oh, not that the date went anything like this, just the general attitude, intelligence level and feeling of entitlement.]

2 furballs:

Udge said...

Exciting times! Happy hunting.

CarpeDM said...

Um, yeah, if the date conjured up that type of vibe, you're better off without him. The evil part of me wants to say that's what you get for dating on the Sabbath as a joke but that would be wrong so we'll pretend I didn't say it, okay?

80's music. Meh. It's not that great. I hope you had a great time and I love the idea of you pretending to be foreigners. Awesome! Maybe you can fake an asthma attack.