19 July 2007

Life After, and seize the bum

Hi, hi! It was a very long street, sorry. Thanks all, you have no idea, NO IDEA how it feels. In fact, I have had a grin plastered on my face ever since I passed those exams two days ago. I'M A 5TH-YEAR STUDENT, people! There is no year after that! I am, finally, finally, almost done! Have been ringing people and emailing and squealing in several languages and even as I type and the thought strikes me anew - 5TH-YEAR STUDENT! - I do a little upper-body dance of joy.

I still have an extremelly dull exam on the 27th but it'll be fine, I have more than enough time to prepare for it and anyway - 5TH-YEAR STUDENT! Do you know how proud I am for actually having passed every single exam I wrote so far (though - Surgery grades not out yet, prospects bleak, BLEAK)? We broke up right bfr my exams and I'm sure you remember those days, God I have no idea how I did it but I bloody well did, I did it, I passed them all! Yey is mir! *self-smooch* The day of those 2 exams was excruciating, we wrote the theory from 9-11h and then were divided into groups and told during the written exam that we were ALL taking the lab exam that very day, upon which all of us with names from J on stopped writing, blanched and looked around in a panic bcs we thought we wre going to be called the next day only and what do you mean today, NO ONE'S STUDIED YET, we were all counting on that day's afternoon and evening to study for it. So after the exam my colleague and I went to the bar and tried to memorise everything there is to know abt lab techniques (there is a way to properly emulsionate faeces you know, among other things) and parasites but the funny thing is, when you have to study the parasites of chicken and turkeys, sheep and goats and cows and horses THERE IS NOT ENOUGH TIME! And the names, good God the names are impossible, and not only do I not remember them but I can never remember whether they can be found in the abomasus or the colon or the oesophagus or the gizzard or what, so it was a blind panic from 11 till quarter to 3, when our group - the last one - was going to be called, and then we were told by the lab ladies that everyone was still in the shed doing necropises and everything was at last an hour late, so we all sat on the floor and steps by the lab and went on with the memorising attempts and after abt half an hour I gave up and just sat there and chatted with some colleagues, and finally the professors arrived, all three of them, and we were going to stay in the lab, no necropsies for us, yey!, and we had to blindly choose a paper with a number on it and I love love LOVE number 88 bcs you know what I drew?, MITES!, I drew sheep mites and look here, mites are friends, there's basically Sarcoptes (the scabies that keeps on giving), Psoroptes and Chorioptes and Demodex, and Demodex is even cute looking, they're easy, they're visible, they come on a glass slide, no need to mix faeces or anything else, all done, just look at them through the microscope and pray for the right professor to come evaluate you bcs the lady professor is a sweetheart but she asks questions abt everything, really, EVERY SINGLE SPECIES, and the other professor is cool but asks everything abt medication and those names, good God those names, I can't even pronounce them let alone remmeber them all, and the other one is cool and easy-going and his exams are fast, and I got him! HIM! So I dazzled him with my knowledge of mites and he asked 2 questions and then how the written exam had gone for me and it actually went brilliantly and I was sent on my merry way after barely 5 min of exam and - 5TH-YEAR STUDENT!!!! But by then it was 17.15 already and when I got home I flopped myself down on the sofa and could barely move, and then Shrimpy told me that she was given a date for her PhD defence so we were both set free in a way on the same day, which is brilliant, and then I fell asleep obscenely early bcs I was absolutely knackered, and actually still am.

And yesterday was
Let's Enjoy The Beginning Of The End Day so I drove Shrimpy back home from the doctor (she may be allowed to walk without crutches today, it's been a long 6 weeks) and then we went and parked ourselves in the sun at an outside cafe facing the ocean and lizzarded there [we say this in Portie] till the sun was gone and those two hours gave me some colour and a bit more freckles, I HAVE MORE FRECKLES NOW, YEY!, then friends kept ringing so we ended up meeting at my flat (the drive back saw us singing to 80's songs at the top of our lungs) and had an impromptu party and then some slept here and it was like New Year's and I realised anew how much this degree has demanded of me in the past 6 years and how much I relish just being a normal person who can have friends over and sleep-overs and time to actually sit at a cafe *gasp*, and then I woke up at 9, still tired bcs I feel like I have been dragged by a lorry for too long a while but I am still feeling triumphant and grinning and above all I am hopeful for me,

I think I am making peace with the inevitablen bcs
what sort of person does what he is abt to do? If you were in a relationship where you, say, dreamt of driving together from the East to the West US coast you do not, upon having been apart a mere week, transplant that dream and do it with someone else, you simply don't, how disrespectful - and if you still end up doing it well then, it's a soiled sort of goodbye but this brand of selfishness makes it even more of a goodbye, I need to let it go and am truly learning how to, some things you cannot fight so it is necessary to relinquish, and I've been been feeling more at peace for some time.

And I have been reconnecting with people as well, my life is feeling full again, my friend Mega is in my life once more, we didn't speak for abt 9 months bcs we both needed a break, we had had a long talk abt the woman he lived with even though she was poisonous in ways I won't elaborate and he wanted my opionion, my honest opinion and then couldn't digest it, and for my part all I could see was his absolute lack of lucidness and layers and layers of denial and it left me desperate, he sounds different now, he is lucid and doing extremely well, I no longer worry abt what will happen if it doesn't work btwn them and we re-bonded over the telly swapping thing, I needed his broad shoulders and back for the carrying and we are now back to normal and I am learning loads from his approach to life, and I have been talking to my friend Tom a lot as well, both on the phone and through email, and I love how Dana and Beth are still in my life after all this time, and I have spoken and emailed a whole lot with Manuela and Diana, long, detailed conversations abt the minutiae in our lives, I have never met them but our wagons are forever circled and my friend V. is back in the country and even though my good friend is still gone from my life for the time being going through her booked shags or what have you and even though I seem to have lost those other 3 I mentioned but maybe it's bcs I never really had them that much to begin with what I feel is lucky, absolutely lucky that there are so many people who love me and help carry me when my legs falter through the sheer force of their love for me, I have amazing friends, I truly do, and one day I decided to start a blog, having no clue what it was abt and calling myself Lioness for kicks and in honour of my past and this Lioness opened the door to meeting extraordinary people, people who saved me when Uzi was killed in the tsunami, people who kept commenting even though it's hard to know what to say, people who are still saving me now and not just the regular commenters, even lurkers who sometimes de-lurk to say things that will nest in my soul forever and whom I'll never be able to thank enough or email to say that reading my blog has helped them through a very hard time - and do you know that that means to me, do you know how absolutely fortunate I know I am?

And in a while I'll drive to a faraway beach to meet with Dany from
Israel and Justice and his wife, they're back in Portugal and my life feels full and liveable again but most importantly: HARRY POTTER IS BEING RELEASED TOMORROW NIGHT, a full day bfr I expected it! HARRY POTTER!!!

HARRY POTTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


PS - It gets better! Look:

That is my bum. My bum is inside my fave pair of trousers. Therefore, my bum fits inside them again. Sorry to be waving my bum around like this and
it's a rotten photograph and the trousers look wrinkly bcs I was all contorted and it is a rotten camera with hardly any battery left but actually they are a perfect fit now and THIS IS MOMENTOUS, this hasn't happened in at least 3 years! Yey for the almost 7 Kg I lost, I fit in my clothes again! There's my bum, MY BUM, inside the red trousers! And as I'm typing this and getting ready to leave Bitch (Meredith Brooks) is on MTV and it's one of my favourite songs and a bit of an anthem and it's all too much for me, too much for me.

5 furballs:

Anonymous said...



Aurelia said...

Oh my, you ARE excited about passing aren't you?

And yes, I'm looking forward to Harry Potter being released as well. I thought it was Saturday night as well, but it's Friday to Saturday and It's amazing, isn't it? Like finding out Christmas is really one day earlier!!

Eliyahu said...

!!you are absolute hystrical! it's wonderful to see you in a such a state, and cute bum, too! all the best, and for G_d's sake, just quit smoking now!

Manuela said...

How WONDERFUL to hear joy in your voice again! Just WONDERFUL!

Diana said...

The deeper the pit, the brighter the sunshine when you emerge.

And while I wouldn't recommend it as a weight loss method, at least there's a brilliant upside to all this misery. Nothing like fitting into your favorite pants to make you glow!

I am so freakin' happy for you for everything!!!