22 December 2006

The end of the world is nigh, again

Some of you may remember how fond I am of December. December has given us unforgivable things such as this, how could we forget it, it's my daily pleasure to remember it.

So yes, Uzi is still very much dead and the anniversary of the tsunami is right around the corner and, amazingly, Uzi is still dead. Today they held a memorial on the kibbutz, and Lila, poor thing, was once again requested to write something. I caught up with her a while ago and we chatted, and ooh, the beauty of it! behold:
Yes, morbid humour is just so becoming, I don't think we'll ever tire of it.


I truly thought I'd be able to do a small thingy w Uzi's photographs, I want to compile them as video and add some music. I opened the box, looked at the first one, bawled and that was it. Not to be just yet. I'm quite pissy abt that too.

I rang his parents a while ago and talked to everyone, and we all survived it. I talked to his sister H and it was briliant, we were ages on the phone. She is quite partial to morbid humour herself. We were talking abt kosher and shrimps and then she said, oooh the beauty of it! Behold:

Shrimp doesn't kill you - unless it's carried by a huge wave, that is.

I bow to her excellency.

Oh, I turned on my site feed, seeing as it's Hannukah/Christmas. I deleted the former post bcs it was inane, I was feeling pissy abt something and now am not anymore. That is, not abt that, for I am pissy enough abt other things but December is that sort of month. And the 26th? What 26th? LALALA ICAN'THEARYOU.

Only, the voices are loud, too loud, and they say Your Tig is dead and do you know, they're right.

I would give my Tig the world, If only I could, I would give him the world again. And I know you remember, and you remembering is one of the reasons I am still standing, standing tall and sane, for I will not go down with him, I will remain and sing his name any way I can. I sit here shivering so much my laptop is dancing on my knees, and I can only go back to the same two songs, the first is an animation really by Adam Shecter with music by Antony and the Johnsons, which I love but can never listen to unless it's a day like this and only this one song at that because there's so much Uzi in it, Death was in that poisoned wave indeed, and the animation with the king and the butterflies, I feel my cells are being robbed of oxygen, I didnt believe you could grieve on a cellular level but we grieve everywhere, absolutely everywhere, and the second one is Lamb's Angel Gabriel, for that's Uzi again, pure and faulty and bewinged.

He was my wings, he will always be my wings.

9 furballs:

brooksba said...

Oh Dahling. The animated song is still beautiful and I was moved by the second song. I think of you and Uzi very much, especially this time of year.

Happy Hannukah - I hope you and Loverboy are able to celebrate together and have some positive memories made.

Udge said...

{{{ lioness }}}

Fat chance of us forgetting him, when you keep tearing at our hearts like this :-) That first video is still just heartbreaking.

Happy Hannukah, even unto Porties.

CarpeDM said...

Love you so much, sweetie. Tears running down my face listening to the 2nd song.

Morbid humor is sometimes the only thing that can keep you going. Sometimes you have to laugh through the tears.

Thank you for publishing your feed, it makes me happy to know I can see your new posts right away. I am obsessive about some things, after all.

Happy Hannukah

Manuela said...

Much love, my friend. So sorry. I am so unbelievably sorry. Today as yesterday. Today as two years ago.

Much love.

Boulder said...

Thank you for turning your feed on, I do appreciate it.

You know I'll be thinking of you, and Uzi. Forever and always.


Silene said...

I am thinking of you today, and even though I am new here, I promise you I will remember him.

Happy Chanukah, and a bright and shiny New Year to all.

- Silene

brooksba said...

Thinking of you today. Much love and hugs are being sent to you.

Viscondessa said...

Have been thinking of you today all day, here on the other side of the world, wordless but with love.

Panda said...

Damn having a really slow dial-up connection because I cant load those videos, but I dont need to really because I remember the first one, I do, and I know it would make me cry again. You're so mean like that.

Love you J.